Good Friday

There are days when It is easy to believe that Christ died, rose again, and gave me new life.

But what about the days when life feels low? When the shame of my sin feels suffocating. When I don't feel the power of Christ in my life. When hope seems silent.

Is he here in death, rape, hunger, cancer, abortion, disability, divorce, and suicide? Where is he? Can he bring any healing to the broken? The ones who are so shattered that you can't find all the slivers to put them back together? The one who is dying on the inside, can he heal her? Can he make her new and breathe life into her desperate soul?

Then I remembered…when I was dissatisfied and wanted to be in control of my life, when my marriage was filled with bitterness, when frustration robbed me of joy, when I had to flush 9 weeks of miscarried life...I remembered crying out to God, "Where are you? How can you heal me?" The pain felt too deep for healing.

I knew the story: he died on the cross, rose again, and if I believed in him I would not only spend eternity in heaven, but also have a new kind of life now (eternal life). But when the days felt hopeless, would I believe the power behind this story? 

Could I cling to the power and love of Christ? That when he died on that cross, my sin, guilt, shame, and bitterness were taken care of? I have never deserved forgiveness. At my lowest, in the filthiest of my days, he loved me. He was there!

I don't always feel it. Some days I try to heal myself. I lick my wounds and cry out to myself, instead of the one who gave me life. The one who knows me intricately. 

Because he loved me first, I can celebrate. No matter what my days on this earth may look like, I can celebrate new life. There is life in Christ, and what he has already accomplished.

Have a beautiful Easter!

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© 2014 Natalie Falls