A New Year's Realization
My heart is drawn to the romace of a clean slate. A fresh start. A new year. I feel the burning desire for control over my life. If I am honest and tell you one of my deepest secrets, it would be that I want to be the one who directs my life. I want safe travels. Healthy babies. I want no pain. I want perfection. I want good health, success, and happiness.
This past year I learned to rest in the truth of my frailty. I learned (and am learning) that my frailty is a beautiful bridge that leads me to the perfection of Jesus Christ. If I can't see my frailty, than how will I ever know my desperate need for Christ?
I want to cling to the promise that it is the power of Christ that gives a miraculous breath to my children, my husband, and loved ones—let alone an entire year of breaths. I will never posses that power.
I don't have a resolution, but I have a realization: I will fail.
Some days I will see right away that I need Christ. Other days I will take longer and enjoy the comfort of my frailty.
I hope that this year I will become more desperate for the things of God. I hope I can find grace during sorrow, and grace when life seems perfect. I hope I will stop and thank him for my weakness and be amazed by his power.
This year does not belong to me, but to Him.