When The Storm Hits, I Am Still With You

In the few morning moments I have to myself I ask God for help. Again. I feel broken. Bending with life's changes is painful. Just when I think some things are hard, it gets a little harder. Change has its way of reminding me that I’m not in control. Life keeps moving.

I like the days when I feel like a good mom and wife. The days when nothing has challenged my temper or left me feeling guiltily or out of control. But I realize that I need the storms, they show me that I can’t handle life on my own.

The storms hit hard and I’m barely hanging on, just enough to grab the side of the boat with one hand and shake the other at God. I question him in my soul. Why? I fight for more understanding. I shake my fist, I fight. And in the middle of the storm, He draws me to his side and loves me even though I struggle. Even though I question the God of the universe, he holds me close. I am like a toddler kicking and screaming, but he doesn’t let me go. He waits, and he comforts me. And he reminds me that he will carry me. When I'm tired of fighting, I become still and I hold on tight because I remember all the times he was faithful to carry me before. In my time of unbelief he reminds me to believe. 

When I feel like I'm spinning out of control, he is faithful to give me direction. And even though I feel lost and alone I can have hope in the redeemer of my soul. The one who knows my thoughts and my words before I speak. He draws me to his side and carries me even while I question. And when my heart is restless, he is patient. How deep and unfailing is his love for me. 

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© 2014 Natalie Falls