When I Forget To Ask

Some days seem longer than others. Those days when I am not the mom I want my kids to learn from. The other night after each of my children fell asleep I went into their rooms. I felt like I didn't enjoy them that day. It wasn't until they fell asleep when I realized that my patience level was embarrassing to admit. I held each of their hands and watched their peaceful faces as they were sleeping. I began to cry and ask God for help. I thought about how it was the only time I had asked him for help that day. I talked to each of my dreaming babies about how much I love them. How much I really do enjoy them but I forget about what really matters. I forget that speaking truth to their hearts is much more important than how they act on the outside.  

I was reminded that I wouldn't need prayer if my life was perfect. I wouldn't need to depend on God if I never felt the guilt of my impatience. I forgot God's truth and I relied on myself. My needs and what I thought was best ruled our home—but all of it is broken. Nothing without God.

I held their little hands and was humbled. I am reminded of the good that I don't deserve. How sweet is grace, I need it every day.

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© 2014 Natalie Falls