An Early Morning

The mornings are early. Two more hours of sleep that I desperately need are disrupted by a wide eyed little boy who is ready to start the day. To him the day should begin with someone by his side. He's social, he likes to be around people. I am not so social at 4:30 in the morning. "A snack!" he tells me, and he pulls my hand towards the kitchen. 

Finding joy at 4:30 a.m. is not easy. 

This last Sunday at church I listened to a dear man talk about being a servant. He told the story about Jesus washing the disciples feet and what an incredible picture of servanthood we see. As he read these words I began to cry. "For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you." I immediately thought about Elias and how hard it has been to serve him lately. I have read this passage from John before and I have always thought about the people I need to be serving—but not my children. 

I love my children and I take care of them, but sometimes taking care of them can look a little more mechanical than loving. I change the diapers, I fill the tub, I feed the mouths; but my heart is not content to serve. Often times I lean over the diaper, the tub, and the stove and my mind is far from serving. I just want to get it over with and have a few minutes to myself at the end of the day. I just want a shower.

But the few minutes I want to myself at the end of the day mean nothing if i've failed to serve my children. Love my children.

When church was over I looked at Aaron, I couldn't say anything to him. He watched the tears stream down my face, he knew my thoughts. He was thinking the same thing. 

It's 4:30 a.m. I look over at the couch where Elias is watching Winnie the Pooh. He has one foot touching the ground and the other is up on the cushion, he's doing the splits! I laugh and start thinking about how much I love him. How I would take 4:30 mornings with him than no mornings with him. 

I want to be a mom that serves my children. Gently and lovingly wiping, washing, and feeding. No matter how early the morning, late the night, long the cry—Please God, help me serve!

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"Now that I, your Lord and teacher have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."—John 13:14,15

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