(before entering a party) "Mom, you're the best booger getter."
Me: "Vitali, it's time to be quiet and go to bed."
V: "I'm gonna eat your guys heads off."
Me: "That's fine, just do it quietly."
Me: "Vitali put your play dough knife down I don't want you playing like that."
V: "Just one slice, I'm hungry of you. Just a little of your butt."
Me: "Vitali, go get some underwear on."
V: "No, you can't see my bunzos, they're like God's bunzos."
One of the best parts about being the mother of Vitali is his wild imagination. The woman who marries this little dude will have constant entertainment. I have a feeling she'll be calling me up asking, "Where does he get it?!" I won't know how to answer her except, "Enjoy it!"