A Bad Morning, A Perfect Afternoon

I had one of those gut-wrenching moments the other day. I felt like a terrible mother and I couldn't stop thinking about how I could have done things differently. I felt guilty, and I wished I could have had another chance to protect my boys. We set out for our normal Wednesday routine: a trip to Trader Joe's and then off to Elias' swim class. After buying our groceries, I parked the grocery cart and began to unload my bags. I always put my boys in the car first, but it was beautiful and sunny and I only had three bags to unload. Elias was buckled in the front of the cart and Vitali was busy playing in a little patch of rocks next to the cart.

I turned my back on the cart to put the first bag of groceries in the car but was interrupted with a crash and screaming. Vitali stepped on the side of the cart and it tipped over on its side. Elias was crying and looking at me with that helpless look that no parent likes to see. I searched Elias' head for a bump or blood but I found nothing. Vitali was stuck underneath the cart and looked confused and worried for his brother.

After comforting, kissing, and saying "I'm so sorry", over and over, I thanked God that my children where okay. In that moment I was reminded of how easy it is to make a mistake. I want to protect my children, but it is humbling when it feels so far from my control at times.

I couldn't quite shake off my bad morning. I kept replaying "the crash" in my mind. My family was going to the beach, but I wasn't planning on going because of a busy morning. But, my good friend Becca reminded me (as any good friend should) of how perfect the beach is for mornings like this one. And she was right. The beach has its way of making me feel free-spirited. I forget about everything else when I'm starring at my little sand crabs and I am thankful for the moment in front of me.


© 2014 Natalie Falls