#1...I eat the boys' animal cookies with my coffee just after I tell Aaron to stop eating all the boys' food. #2...I let Vitali pee in bushes at the park. Hey, I gotta be consistent with this whole potty training thing—when you gotta go, you gotta go! #3...I wear hats and flowers in my hair, not just because I like them but maybe I forgot to wash my hair, or I just couldn't find the time to brush it. There, now you know one of my biggest secrets. I call them "mommy savers". #4...I threw away the friendship bread starter someone gave me. Does this mean I don't want to be her friend? Please forgive me, lady...if you're out there! Actually, if you're reading this, next time bake the bread for me and I promise I will eat all of it by myself. #5...I encourage weird behavior.