A year ago I was very pregnant! I spent my last week of being very pregnant at Disneyland. I guess you could say I was ready to meet Elias and I was willing to do the walking to make it happen. I thought I knew my little Elias that was cozy in my belly, but I had no idea who he was and the joy he would bring to our family.
For my birthday I wanted to go back and visit all those past dreams I had of my son. I wasn't sure how I would deal with it but I was ready. November 15 was another mark in my life of "processing". I held Elias in my arms where I had taken my last profile picture with him and I told him I loved him. I said "thank you God for giving me your plans for Elias and not my own". We soared through the air on Dumbo and I whispered into his little ear "I am so thankful you are mine".
I felt a wonderful freedom that day. I let go of little pieces that weren't reality and embraced the unknown. The unknown is an adventure, the kind that has rapids one day and peaceful streams the next. The day we have rapids we recognize we are weak and need God's strength to take them on! The peaceful streams remind us of all we have and to rest in the arms of our provider.
While all those thoughts were forming in my head I got to sip coffee with my dear friend who has walked so close with me through the year. She has cried with me and listened to me. Between her, my sister, and a few other loved ones I've probably spent 100's of hours on the phone working through things.
And then there's my sweet little redhead who adores his brother and excepts life as it comes. Vitali has taught Aaron and I so much through his carefree life. He is Elias closest friend, I am so excited to watch them through the years.
So the year is here and we get to celebrate! We are so ready to celebrate! On Sunday Elias turns one (!) and we will enjoy his life and all we have been given over the year because of him.
Thank you to all of you who have walked beside us this year, you have no idea how much we have needed you!