He Is Meant For Me
It is an honor for me to share this story with you. My dear friend Amy has taken the time to pour out her heart to you and I. I am changed and inspired by her words.
I have a four year-old son named Ben.
He is a lovely mess.
He loves bubbles and bouncing balls and matchbox cars.
He will eat spaghetti until the cows come home.
He has the longest eye lashes I’ve ever seen.
Ever.
He likes to take his little starfish hands and turn my head, and plant a big, wet kiss on my cheek.
After he takes a big swig of milk, he puts his cup down and says, “Ahh!”
He likes rap music and anything with a good beat.
He likes to be pushed HIGH on our backyard swing.
He is rough and tumble, sweet and savory, the perfect mix of naughty and nice.
He is the love and light of my life.
Oh, and by the way, Ben has Down Syndrome.
Four years ago, when our pediatrician looked me in the eye and told me, “I think your baby has Down Syndrome,” I did not have any idea what that would mean for our family.
I was no stranger to Down Syndrome but still, as a mother, I didn’t know what it would mean to be a special needs mom.
One thing was sure though, from the moment I saw Ben, I knew love.
Love in the purest, rawest sense of the word.
He was meant for me.
He was meant for me all along.
He was a gift from God above.
As much a gift as my other children are.
He is perfect and able and awesome.
It was love.
Several years into this special needs mom thing, and knee-deep in the blogosphere, I read, with weepy eyes, the stories of children just like my Ben, locked away in orphanages and institutions–simply because of a diagnosis of Down Syndrome.
They are unwanted and deemed unacceptable in their society.
They have no place.
They are thrown away and locked up for all the days of their lives.
They do not know the love of a mother or a father.
And no, it isn’t an infomercial or an after-school special on tv.
This is REAL life.
I went to the Reece’s Rainbow website.
I tried to read about the different children.
There were times when I closed the computer and cried.
It was too painful to read more.
I held Ben closer and longer, and whispered in his tiny ears how much I adored him.
I tucked him in at night, into a clean, warm bed, and kissed his forehead, and told him I’ll never leave him.
My heart ached.
I began to wonder what I could do to make a difference to these kids.
I gave monetarily but it was never enough.
I prayed and prayed.
It helped.
A quote from mother teresa rocked me to the core:
If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.
My heart was wide open.
The Lord was telling me.
Go.
You can do this.
This is what you need to do.
I will help you find your way.
Haven’t I always?
I’m not saying it was easy to listen, but He was there, in so many little ways, pointing me in the direction of my next adventure.
Pointing me towards this little guy, Davis.
A four year old boy who has Down Syndrome, just like my Ben.
A little boy who deserves a chance to have a family who loves him.
And who, as of April, we have committed to saving.
He is my son.
He is meant for me.
He is perfect and able and awesome.
It is love.
I sure hope he likes spaghetti.
Just a reminder, when you donate $25 dollars or more I will send you a handmade hair accessory of your choice (send me a note to let me know which one you’d like). All profits will go to Davis, Seregey, and Isaac, so that they might be cradled in their mamas arms that much sooner. I will accept donations throughout the month of October. I am so blessed to be a part of this journey, I hope you are as well.
Oct 05, 2011 @ 07:36:05
Beautiful that God spoke to her and lead her in the direction that was meant to be. What a lucky little guy this Davis is. May your blessings continue to multiply.
Oct 05, 2011 @ 08:47:12
Precious …. Will help spread the word!
Oct 05, 2011 @ 11:07:46
Oh Amy….indeed Davis and Ben were meant for you.
And meant to be brothers.
I love your heart.
Oct 05, 2011 @ 12:03:39
Thanks for sharing Natalie. Wish I could meet all the mothers in your group, they speak a beautiful language of the heart and of God in their lives. Blessings on little Davis!
Oct 05, 2011 @ 15:25:16
Amy, 12 years ago, I was pregnant with a child I called, “Ben.” The doctors told me that they were quite certain from the tests that we had that this child would have Downes syndrome. So during my pregnancy I looked forward to the prospect of having a baby with an extra chromosome. The more I talked to other parents with children living with Downes, the more I got excited and anticipated his arrival. At the last minute we changed his name from Ben to Graham. We wanted him to have the most dignified name we could think of, and since I worked with an English man with the name who was such a proper and admired gentleman, we made a last minute change.
Graham was born with a team of doctors surrounding us waiting to whisk him away (he had other medical problems that were a concern). One of the first things they said was, “I thought this baby was a Downes syndrome baby?” But to everyone’s surprise he wasn’t. He had a condition that looked similar to what many boys have with Downes (and a few other indications as well), but when he was born we realized that he wasn’t born quite the way we had expected.
Anyway, a part of me missed that opportunity. And for a few years after I had wondered if maybe I should consider adoption because I had thought this was a part of God’s plan for me. It wasn’t.
Just now when I looked at this precious boy I was almost brought to tears. You are so blessed by your Ben. And that’s a blessing that I will never experience for myself. He’s adorable.
I’ve always looked at it this way… God chooses special parents for these children and offers them a blessing unlike anything a parent could imagine for themselves. That’s the beauty of His loving grace and how He give immeasurably above our expectations.
You are twice blessed!!
Oct 05, 2011 @ 16:06:15
So beautiful!
lovelovelove
Oct 06, 2011 @ 08:09:16
Amy…I love this.
It made me cry.
Adoption is close to my heart (we’ve adopted twice) and your willingness to open your heart to love Davis…it’s how I want to live.
Following God’s lead…with a willingness to risk and love deeply…to see with His eyes.
This is beautiful.
Oct 08, 2011 @ 10:26:12
Thank you much for doing this, Amy. God is faithful.