While getting ready to go to the pool...
V: "It's good to put sunscreen on your boobs, because otherwise the milk would boil and Bjorn would be like, 'Hey...somthin' fishy is goin' on around here!'"
Elias, as he steps out of the shower in all of his naked glory...
"Hey, what's goin' on around here?!"
Pia, learning the difference between a man and a woman while at the grocery store...
"Oh look mom, she's a girl, she has a 'gina like me." ("'Gina" is the nickname for "vagina," because of course "vagina" needs a nickname). "Oh and he's a man, he has a penis!" ("Penis" does not need a nickname).
Me: "Vitali, can you help me pick up the house for ten minutes?"
V: "I wish I was a mom so I could make my boys do everything."
(A few days later...)
Me: "Vitali, do you wish you were a mom?"
Vitali: "No, because then I couldn't pee into a bottle in the car."
Oh the things they say!